Quod Me Nutrit, Me Destruit

Literal: "What nourishes me, destroys me."

Some of you may know that I have a couple tatoos on my wrists that are very meaningful. The first tatoo is in Latin and translates from Martin Luther to, "Simulataneously both sinner and saint." One of the main purposes of this particular tatoo is to constantly remind me in my struggle as a Christian, to live my life in Christ even while understanding that I while I will fall, I am also an eternally saved child of God. It is an oxymoron of sorts, certainly a paradox and it can be poignant to me at different times and for different reasons; at times, it serves to convict my heart of my guilt, at others, to assure me of my forgiveness.

I am not alone in my daily struggles with temptation, however, today I reflect on our individual vices and pet sins.

General Meaning: "That which motivates or drives a person, can consume them from within."

One can only guess if this is the meaning that Angelina Jolie had in mind when she famously tatooed this on her lower abdomen. It is a bit more obvious what pro-anorexia groups had in mind when they took on this phrase as a slogan. The actual origin of this phrase was first found on the top-left corner of a portrait of Christopher Marlowe which was found at Corpus Christi College in Cambridge where he attended college.

This quote finds older origins with a slight variation, "quod me alit, me extinguit," meaning, "that which feeds me, extinguishes me." Gladly we can find this in Shakespeare's argued work, Pericles, Prince of Tyre, which most likely was influenced by an anonymous work popular in medieval times, Apollonius of Tyre, which may trace back to ancient Greece. More tellingly, this phrase was also found in emblem books such as Samuel Daniel's; an illustration of a flaming torch, held upside down.

In Act II, scene ii of Pericles, there is a procession of six knights bearing heraldic device on their shields. The device of the fourth knight…described by Thaisa and interpreted by Simonides:

                Thai.      A burning torch that’s turned upside down;

                               The word, “Quod me alit, me extinguit.”

                Sim.       Which shows that beauty hath his power and will,

                                Which can as well inflame as it can kill.

                                                                                                                (ll.32-35)

Even as the waxe doth feede, and quenche the flame,

So, love gives life; and love, dispaire doth give;

The godlie love, doth lovers crowne with fame;

The wicked love, in shame dothe make them live.

Then leave to love, or love as reason will,

For, lovers lewde doe vainlie languishe still.

                                                                    -Geoffery Whitney's A Choice of Emblems

Emblem books such as shown direcly above, also give an explanation of the nature of love - which motivates, lets us do impossible things, but can also be destructive. They also extend the meaning to include power, politics, and metaphysics. I would view the nature of love, here, not as romantic love as with another individual, but love of anything. What a perfect metaphor for this classic phrase. Imagine that torch above - fire burning wax which feeds the flame, yet also melting the wax, which, falling towards the flame, slowly extinguishes the flame itself!

When we struggle daily with our vices, what we are really struggling with is our sinful nature of love. By nature, we "love" those things which make us feel good; whether it be a physical feeling or a feeling of power. This sinful love is the love that attracts us to sex, money, and authority; and it is this love which motivates us to do great and often hideous things. More often than not, it will also bring our destruction.

As a Christian, our fight against our selfish love of _________(fill in the blank), even though it may not lead to an obvious "destruction," such as getting caught while lieing, cheating, stealing, lusting etc. does slowly errode our faith and love in a more worthy "object," i.e. Christ; and will, without true and complete repentence, lead us to a loss of faith in Christ.

In a slightly different context, I also think of our worldy passions which in and of themselves are not sinful, such as: video games, sports, tv shows, movies, celebrity gossip, and social media to name a few. How can these "destroy" while "feeding" us? When we become engrossed in such neutral vices, we often will let it adversely effect other more important things in our lives. We rush through our chores and homework, and in so doing, put forth a poor effort and product, so that we can get back to our video games, tv show, facebook. We let our loved ones suffer when we spend time on these when we should be encouraging, supporting, and loving our spouses, children, parents.

I encourage you all to let your love of Christ motivate you more than any other and in so doing, Christ will use you to do great and glorious things for his kingdom. Let Christ's love nourish you; you will never be destroyed!